GUTS

So, the other day I was sitting at the dinner table eating a bowl of multi-grain cheerios when I was quite suddenly struck with a revelation, "Boy do I feel sorry for the small intestine!!!". I mean, seriously, think about it, the glory of the small intestine is always stolen by the stomach and the large intestine, what the hell! okay, what is the job of the stomach? it sits around all day EATING!!! SLOVENLY WHORE!!! it doesn't even need to chew, it's just lets its acid break it down, and to top it all off, it gets the occasional entertainment of cranking out a good burp, lucky.
Now let's think about the large intestine, what does that do? It spends all day turning everything it gets its hands on into shit and secreting an odor to rival a pile of rotting corpses, seriously!!! That is one lucky organ, if it's on a woman it's got a hot party going on next door on a regular basis, and if it's on a gay guy, the party's at his place. And to top it all off every once in a while it kills someone with appendicitis, WHAT A BITCH!!!
Now, let's think about what the small intestine does, it works all day to absorb all the nutrients from the your food then spoon feeds it to your body so you don't die of malnutrition, now that’s an organ that deserves a cigar and a handshake!